A lesson in: Gorging

It’s that time of year where I start getting my holiday on… I am a big, big fan of Thanksgiving food. Lemme tell you about it.

Well, you start with turkey. I personally have nothing to do with the turkey. Not only is it approximately $400 a pound, it is also, as I have described over the years, a dry yet greasy tasteless bird. With that being said, it is nonetheless essential to the holiday. I demand that it be present, even in its current Yablonski format of a turkey, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with sausage. (a turducken, they call it, completely dissing the sausage). I have had turkey over the years that was okay, but still nothing to write home about. I eat ham.

I also skip things with green beans and things that look nasty, like cranberry sauce. I save my somewhat limited intestinal capacity for important things, like ham and sweet potatoes and rolls and dessert of every kind. I can’t tell you how many times over the years I have been just getting started, and the ol’ gut says, “Whoa… back it up, sister!” This is alarming on at least two fronts… one, that my stomach can speak, and two, that I have to stop eating or risk intestinal rupture and eventually, death.

Lucky for me, my mother-in-law is no patriot, and does not celebrate American Imperialist holidays. She stills tries to get a holiday out of it by having a party on the weekend, with enchiladas. I know.

So, I only have two Thanksgiving feasts, the Yablonskis and the Clarks, on Richy’s dad’s side. I can usually manage two smorgasbords, although it makes the rest of the year awfully disappointing.

This year, I live in a state where it is very, very cold already. Just imagine the North Pole. Yep, like that. So my brain and psyche and what-not are in a state of panic at it already being Christmas weather, (since the two cold days of the year in Texas are typically around ol’ St Nick’s Day,) without having first gone through the rite of Thanksgiving. “What about the FOOD?” my brain is wailing. It’s like a funhouse around here with all these talking organs and muscles.

We will be driving to Texas next week to celebrate. Laissez les bons temps rouler.

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33 thoughts on “A lesson in: Gorging

  1. It’s a TERRIBLE time of year to try to lose that last 20 pounds of baby fat!!!!! UGH!! My brain seems to be taking a vacation. The three brain cells that are with me seem to be moving at snail’s speed this morning ~ maybe I need more coffee!!! I’ll go brew another pot!!

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  2. Anonymous says:

    je ne pence pas tu parle francaiseindeed let the good times roll

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  3. katw0man says:

    je ne sais pas. je ne comprende pas. oui. ca vaz(s) ?ou revoirje t’aimeouic’est la vie

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  4. supern8 says:

    enough with the french…I don’t feel like bailing out any wussy, ungrateful countries today.

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  5. katw0man says:

    me neitherau revior

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  6. katw0man says:

    mommy mere pete.i am SO challenged that when I checked my own blog I saw you were following me. i wanted to reply but didn't know how, so now i am replying to you on jess's blog.pathetic huhi joined twitter yesterday but i dont know if i will be able to ever use it because texting is NOT FREE on my AT&T account. I know you generation X=ers would be shocked, horrified and AGHAST but some of us DON'T text at all. because it is hard enough just to pay regular bills w/o upcharges. but i read yesterday how great twitter was and how great it is for small businesses. all that to say……jess, if you don't mind having technical dibbicultied people clogging up your blog, until i can figure out to reply on mine own… batman is coming home soon.does anyone remember batman?anyways, he asked me to do this bid and i have not done it yet.i have been photgraphing product all morning. another challenging part of having a small business.anyways, georgia, a hem, anonymous, i just emailed you with a cry for HELP but Obviously you have a day job so…….ok everyone, time to get WITHitau reviorout

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  7. katw0man says:

    jess is gonna hate me.characteristicallymy replies are always long.twitter was not made 4 me….140 characters goes by fast!

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  8. Jess says:

    Kat- if you just post to twitter from your PC, you never have to use text

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  9. Jess says:

    oh, and I love your loquacious self 🙂

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  10. Josharoo says:

    Now that was some good writing. “It’s like a funhouse around here with all these talking organs and muscles.” – Awesome!Now it’s time to get a nap while Keith is napping. I tried a “gummy snack” reward system for toilet training just before his nap and got him to go #1 and #2 on the toilet. I’ll be foucusing on training him in my last week off work. May the good Lord be with us!

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  11. Jess says:

    We’re using stickers on a chart for pee, and Skittles for the “other”… so far, lots of stickers…

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  12. Josharoo says:

    Keith woke dry from a two hour nap and just went pee again. This is looking good folks. We’re about to go to Wal Mart for some stuff. I think we’ll pick up some big boy undies too.

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  13. katw0man says:

    lo⋅qua⋅cious   /loʊˈkweɪʃəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [loh-kwey-shuhs] Show IPA Pronunciation –adjective 1. talking or tending to talk much or freely; talkative; chattering; babbling; garrulous: a loquacious dinner guest. 2. characterized by excessive talk; wordy: easily the most loquacious play of the season. wow. JESS! i love you too! thanks for challenging my semantics abilities by introducing new, unfamiliar words. (new neuropathways are being formed right now…..hence, onset of alzheimers routed again for a period of unknown duration)i do love you!however, i don’t know how to “post to twitter from PC” how,where, when, why?outsounds like josh is bragging about his offspring, albeit rather dryly……

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  14. katwoman I like to twitter and I have ATT–maybe jess can help us follow eachother- not sure how

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  15. katw0man says:

    so glad to see you viking granny! i have been carrying clothes around in my car for the kids down yonder for at leastg 4 weeks. will you be at ctk tomorrow?can i give em to ya?they are not perfectly sorted or anything but they are in acceptable conditionyep if jess wants to give us lessons,,,,like if she has nothing to do between handing out stickers and skittles, that is….or if she is out of twitter momentarily.i’d be much obliged!

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  16. Si vous voulez vraiment parler d’une belle langue parlent le danois.

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  17. Hey Katwoman…….i sent you an invite to your email addressmaybe that will work.that is all i know how to do…….

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  18. Josharoo says:

    Kat- Welcome back to la blog. I’m sharing in the small victories with Jess of getting our toddlers out of diapers. Encouraging and sharing ideas. And, an update on that. Yesterday evening, after Wal Mart, we got two more pees on the toilet. Today before nap, we got both again. One gummy snack for pee, two for poo.On twitter, to post from your PC, just sign in you account, and then click “Home” at the top. You’ll see an entry box under “What are you doing?” That is where you write your update from your PC. The number on the right will count down how many characters you have left.What is your user name for twitter? We’ll look you up and follow you.

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  19. Josharoo says:

    Kat- did you know we have a new daughter? 11 days old. Go to my blog for pics.Everyone- new pics and vid of Keith and Meara together.

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  20. katw0man says:

    josh, hey there! yes, i knew about your little girl. is she beautiful like your wife/my twitter name is 2tw1tty4kitty, yep there is a method to my madness. i have to remind myself what i am doing and that dictates my “name”. thanks for the tip and i will follow up on this vital info….after church tomorrow.meanwhile. you can see my madness on Cassiaskitchen.blogspot.comit’s not cool or anything like all you young uns. but it is a start!so there you go.

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  21. post T-day Saturday enchiladas hi noon!Yippeeeee Pace Picante sauce and sour cream and iced teaJulie n Chuck are bringing cheesecakeSteph n Rob r bringing her famouse green saladWhat r Jess n Rich bringing?

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  22. Josharoo says:

    Kat- Yes, Meara is just as beautiful as her mommy! Click here to see pictures. Enter your email address in the box on the left and get an email sent when I make a new post.

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  23. Josharoo says:

    Kat- I also just sent a request to add you on twitter.

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  24. so did i……….i sent it to our email address Kat

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  25. katw0man says:

    ok, so, here i is again. yes, i can do twitter. but can i do pics? without paying texting fees from cell? thanks josh for all your help!

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  26. katw0man says:

    let’s see if i can do this. this is why i, joined twitter. i was reading this other lady’s blog who i follow who i buy supplies from who is a great business woman. and she posted this week a link to Michael Hyatt, President and CEO of Thomas Nelson publisher: i want to put a link here but suddenly cannot figure out how: so here it is: http://www.michaelhyatt.com/fromwhereisit/2008/05/12-reasons-to-s.htmlit is sage good advice. isn’t that thomas nelson, the bible publishers. anyway, it’s a great blog and insipirational.

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  27. katw0man says:

    i know i had more than 140 characters,but the reason i told you all that is because this man is a publisher, and jess is soon going to publish either her own book or her own poetry or a book which she co authors with richy or something like it and this man has columns on the right with advice to first time authors. check it out, jess!

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  28. If by “things with green beans” you mean green bean casserole, I TOTALLY skip that too…

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  29. Jess says:

    Annie! Welcome!

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  30. supern8 says:

    Viking Granny, Jess and Richy are bringing supern8 and guac!

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  31. Josharoo says:

    Meara slept her first 3 hour stretch. AND THE CROWD..GOES..WIIIIILLLLLDDDDDDD!!! It’s like an early Christmas present!

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  32. Should I make rolled up super enchiladas or super enchilada casserole……that is the Q

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  33. Josharoo says:

    Make both and send me the one you don’t eat.

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