More fat! More fat!!

Today is my mama’s birthday. I was trying to write some sappy poetry for her, but people keep shoving plush poodles in my face and demanding mukiks. Or climbing on my arms saying watch this and doing some pretty impressive superhero arm moves. This kind of activity KILLS my muse. Sorry, Mama.

In other news, R2 is losing weight. This is alarming, since he weighed a little more than a grasshopper to begin with. At 9.5 he had finally broken 40 pounds… we got the new booster seat and everything. And then he had the seizure and got emotional distress and now he’s back down to like 36. Grr. So I have put a call in to a nutritionist, and we will be meeting with them and making a plan. In the meantime, I am consulting the Google.

So I am working on increasing the caloric content of his meals. I mix butter in with everything, and I make him eat it all, even if I have to spoonfeed him. Also, I bought a lot of high-fat snacks, but good high fats, like avocados and nuts. Oh, and I’m making him drink 2 Pediasures a day, which are about 200 calories each. It’s an interesting project. Oddly, he is already looking a little healthier after only 3 days of this.

One problem: I want to eat it all. Whoda thunk that my favorite foods also happen to be high fat? I’m a shrimp, I know. But I’m getting a little meaty here, what with the cold and the baking and so on. I can’t go work out, because I am a coldaphobic. (sidenote: when I googled coldaphobic to make sure I wasn’t calling myself something obscene, I found this:Coulrophobia: an abnormal or exaggerated fear of clowns. Good to know.)

This post brought to you courtesy of Barney.

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12 thoughts on “More fat! More fat!!

  1. Anonymous says:

    I know he likes to be spoon-fed! He will keep taking it in as long as you shovel!

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  2. Anonymous says:

    That was me the cow. mama

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  3. misskerri says:

    why is is that what we do for the benefit of the children around us causes our personal downfall? Is this when God asks us to develop our fruit of self-control? I thought that only applied to putting down the book by midnight so I can get enough sleep. Is this what I have to look forward to w/ kids? Can’t wait…

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  4. Jess says:

    Thanks, Birch! I can always count on you.

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  5. katw0man says:

    o m goshweird ali used to like himused to, i had a friend in hong kong who introduced him to me. couldn’t help but laughin spite of my sanctified selfjess, i am coldophobic too.i do remembering that when kitten was little, i was told that FAT was the single most important thing for the development of her brain. so, you must be onto something.my kitten will NOT eat avocado, the love fruit from California.But i can disquise it in cilantro dip or items that pass for chips dips. nuts are good too. what about a banana smoothie with lots of fattenign yogurt and a tablespoonful of coconut or coconut oil or olive oil? That would be nourishing and delish!

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  6. katw0man says:

    happy birthday to mamahappy birthday to mamawe love youwe love youwe love you oh mama!ok the trooops are cryingfor dinner……

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  7. BethC says:

    HAPPY Bday MamaI love youI’ll get your new pics to you

    Like

  8. Mama PC says:

    HAAAAAAAAAPPY BIRTH day to you……(and manymore……)

    Like

  9. Mama PC says:

    who’s Al Yankovich? is he someone you and your bunch modeled yourelves after?what an interesting character!seriously, how did I miss this guy?how’s Han?tell her to write home a long yee-mail…. we miss her

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  10. i love my mom. she’s never heard of weird al.:-)

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  11. supern8 says:

    Boring…Jess, find your muse.

    Like

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