technology wants to kill me

Sometimes, in the morning when I am especially boring, I think, “I will wait until something interesting happens and then blog about that.” Often, when I do this, either a)nothing comes to mind or b) something interesting takes up the whole afternoon.

Yesterday, we planned on the MOG leaving on a jet plane around 5:30. So that was ideal because we could have a normal day and R2 would get home from school and we’d all leave together and have dinner and drop Daddy off at the A-port. As is the case with all seamless plans, it didn’t happen.

First, the hub found out his flight was several hours earlier. So we re-adjusted the plan, and then we didn’t do that one either. I packed somewhat frantically for 10 days…. hope I remembered everything. Then his stuff (whatever he does in the basement, involving large cases and cords and computers) took longer than the plan, and so we hurtled out to the van with just enough time to drive, at naptime, without lunch.
Readjust- Sonic instead of sitting down. No Sonic on our route? Readjust- McD’s drive through. Bean is asleep? Feed her later. Drop Daddy off, and head out, confident because all I have to do is STAY ON 71.

I have driven this route a lot, and the key is, stay on 71. Even when there are no signs and 3 freeways. Just stay the course. So I missed one exit, to stay on, and ended up in the ghetto. I live in the ghetto, but this was a different one. So I’m all like, hey, I’ll just turn around and get back on. But nooooooo, there’s crazy construction and wavy lanes and confusion. Then I remember, hey! I have a GPS!

Now, maybe you’re like, uh, why didn’t you already have that on? I’ll tell you. My GPS is a TomTom. I got it for Christmas. By January we had figured out it’s a little hit-and-miss. So I keep it in my diaper bag, and if I have already mapped out a route on Google Maps, and have the basic idea, then I can type the address in my GPS and follow it pretty closely, except when it deviates from what I KNOW to be the truth. So then I take off on my own, and C3PO (my GPS voice) repeatedly cries out, “Oh dear, Master! Turn around as soon as possible!” over and over and I get so annoyed I just turn the thing off and put it in my bag again.

So anyways. I got it out yesterday and told it to take me home. It led me through all the streets in the ghetto, like a tour with Paula Abdul. Oh, and the other thing it does is say, “Turn left now.” and it means like, immediately NOW. So I have to yank the wheel and coffee is spilling and the children are yelling don’t drive crazy mommy and so on.

Anyways. I am shooting along on the course it has for me, way, way that way over there, and I rocket past a sign for 71 S. (sigh) So I ignore C3PO and turn around in a scary, scary parking lot and get back to that sign. C3PO gets on board and tells me to take the next left, so I do. Only my robotic buddy actually meant the left after that. U-turn again, and finally get on 71. I start getting the warning beep that I am exceeding the speed limit. I depress the power button. I no longer need assistance. On one hand, I am grateful to Tom and Tom for actually getting me out of that neighborhood. On the other hand, I wonder where he was taking me. Is there a kidnapping plot? I guess I won’t know until I get lost again, next week when I am going downtown.

I make it home a long time later. I want Apple to make a stand-alone GPS device. It would work.

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6 thoughts on “technology wants to kill me

  1. Anonymous says:

    some have a sense of direction others don’ttom tom shows offfunny stuff

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  2. Beth says:

    i SO identify with you…only i don’t have a gps.

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  3. The last time I drove home from the airport I totally got lost! accidentally got on 35 at one of those two lane splits…

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  4. Driving is such a fine art.

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  5. KC HWYs where you guys live are challenging. You did good to get home at all. I made that drive with three sleeping babies at 11pm at night towards the airport and got lost and had to take a different route via directions given from a kindly gas station attendant. Even people with awesome built in direction devices in their HEADs can easily get turned around in your area.I had to finally make a song up to help me …… Random singing is what MnM call it… but my song ended up being from a old musical “North to Alaska” is code for North to Airport….. Airport and Alaska both start with A..You did good baby…… I think that only because I have made the trip about 5 or 10 times….. in dark and daylight with babies depending on me…… etc..I am not afraid of getting lost anymore….. As long as we have a full tank of Gas and I have my glasses I am not afraid……Some day maybe HWYS will be all user friendly and apple will make a great GPS and life will be GRAND

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  6. April says:

    I love your blog! just added you to my blog role so everyone who visits my page can enjoy you to!

    Like

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