How SkyMall saved the day

Do you have more cash than you know what to do with? It’s stressful being fabulously wealthy, isn’t it? Well, just lie back and relax. You will soon be 350 dollars poorer, and you will feel so much better.

The Mind Relaxer.
This is the mental relaxation spa that combines biorhythmic sound and light patterns to remove outside distractions, helping you improve attention and focus, reduce anxiety and stress, and recover quickly from jet lag. The spa includes a pair of glasses that have 12 white LEDs embedded into the inside face, surrounding your orbital lobes with an array of gentle, pleasing light.

Both the glasses and the included earbuds attach to the control unit, which houses all 18 sound and light programs; the lights and the soundscapes are set to match four frequencies–beta, alpha, theta, and delta–which oscillate between 1-30 Hz to help improve concentration, induce varying levels of relaxation, or achieve a deep state of meditation. Each program lasts up to 25 minutes. Includes carrying case.

4-1/2″ L x 3-3/4″ W x 1-1/2″ H. (4 oz.)

Price: $349.95

Imagine me kicking back on the couch with this bad boy. I’d just strap on my relaxation goggles and melt away.

A pile of unfolded towels lays at my feet, where Brynn is drawing with a Sharpie on the hardwood floors. As the biorhythms surround me, Toby would climb on top of the refrigerator and rain debris onto his brother, who would become overstimulated and begin poking himself in the forehead with a spoon and screaming.

My husband, who did not have biorhythmic goggles, would become greatly alarmed and maybe even come upstairs from his basement office to offer some management suggestions. But I, I would be in bliss. And when I took off my goggles, I would be so relaxed I would probably just not even mind the mess and chaos. I would just have grace and ease. See?

You know the kicker on this one? Comes with carrying case. Sign me UP.