Brynn is 2 now. I always hesitate to say “terrible twos”, because a)that’s kinda cursing the whole YEAR and b)she’s awesome when she isn’t acting terrible. Also, it feeds into that whole kids-are-an-inconvenience mentality that I really really dislike.
in which Brynn wins
Nonetheless, we have had a couple of terrible days around here, as it relates to Bean and her will.
It’s a challenge for me to figure out, because Toby was so logical- I mean, he has always been into everything, and he makes lots of messes, but if I explain “You can’t play with knives because you will cut your fingers and bleed,” he gets that and stops playing with knives. Brynn does not believe me. In her eyes, I am a one man party crashing bully.
Today, Bean refused to wear a napkin on her shirt during lunch. Now, I let my kids eat. Sometimes, they get covered head-to-toe in spaghetti, and I just roll with it. But when we are out running errands, I want them to only get dirty in washable areas, i.e. not their shirts. (explore: vinyl clothing. Research needed)
It went something like this. I tuck the napkin into her collar. She takes one bite and then pulls the napkin out and throws it on the floor. I tuck it back in, explaining.
“You have to wear this because-“
“I NO WERDIS! NO NO NO!”
Brynn, you have to-
“Okay, fine, you don’t wear it, you don’t eat”
(alarmed glances at nearby tables “Is she starving that child?”)
“I WAND MY FOOOOOOOOOOOD! NO I NO WERDIS I WAND FOOD NO I NO!”
“If you want to eat, then you have to wear the napkin.”
(wailing, concerned looks)
The MOG tells her, “You have to wear the napkin first.”
(wailing, gnashing of teeth, “I NO WERDIS!”)
The MOG asks me, “Is this the hill you want to die on?”
Well, no. Not anymore, with the bystanders and the screaming. I crumble and give the nachos back.
“I AW DONE. I GO TRASH.” she explains, crumpling up her paper.
I cratered under the pressure. Will she ever believe I am the boss? Maybe we should just stay inside the house until this phase is over so I can spank and threaten to my heart’s content. Sheesh.