Ketchup

I owe you a fiction segment. Well, aren’t you entitled? I’ll get to it… I got too much ketchin up to do first.

Well, to begin with, now that the horror has worn off, I will tell you the condensed version. One night on the family tour, while the adults were congregating with decks of cards and such, Toby sneaked out of the room he was sleeping in… (mind you, this is someone’s HOUSE) and went in the playroom and dumped out all of the toys in all of the world and then accidentally knocked over the fish tank and very quickly snuffed out Beatty the Betta’s life. In interviews the next morning, the perp said, “I just hode that fish in my hand and then he jist git BLACK and then I dropped him in the clothes.” Days later, his testimony proved true when the decaying fish corpse was discovered in the Lightning McQueen clothes hamper. ((sigh))
In other news, the MOG went out of town this weekend and as a result, R2 got full body hives and an ear infection. You don’t see the connection? Ah. Well, still. I think I should have the afternoon off to browse my favorite thrift store for hours and hours, alone.

Also, if at some point I just go nuts and start spraying passers-by with bullets, you can tell the hometown paper that I just had my toothbrush hijacked one too many times. Today, I am going to buy the gaudiest, pink, flowered toothbrush with feathers and bells and then I am going to tape a big sign on the handle that says, DEAR RICHY. THIS IS NOT YOUR TOOTHBRUSH. WALK 10 FEET TO YOUR SUITCASE AND GET YOURS. LOVE, YOUR GIVING WIFE. XOXO
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5 thoughts on “Ketchup

  1. ~*Beth*~ says:

    so sorry for your trauma! was the family kind, patient and forgiving about it? i hope?the toothbrush bit made me LOL, for real.

    Like

  2. aye-aye-aye! this is a rough life you live! i'm sure i'm in for my own version… muah!

    Like

  3. ~*Beth*~ says:

    Oh yeah, by the way, yes, i am entitled. Thank you for acknowledging that!

    Like

  4. jennifer says:

    The toothbrush! I can so relate!!!

    Like

  5. For the record, I've never high jacked my wife's tooth brush. That's all.

    Like

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