on fat and friendship

I have recently determined that I live in denial, and think that I am going to get up in the morning and get my kids dressed and go to the gym. The truth is, I’m not. Because it is COLD outside, and also because I don’t like mornings. But mostly because it is cold. Like 20 degrees.

In Texas, when we teach our little kids about hell, we tell them it’s a cold place. A cold, snowy place. Keeps ’em right.

So my decision is, to stay here, in my fairly warm house, and eat stuff, and then when it gets warm outside, to go and get skinny then. We’ll see how it goes.
So, no exercise. I have however, begun to make new friends. Or at least meet people. I went to a Pampered Chef party and a mom’s group, both where I only knew one person of the group. You’d think I’d be a social butterfly and a party animal and all that, and I am. But only when it’s people I already know, that already like me.
New people worry me a little. Especially, and primarily, women. Especially women around here, with the beauty and the scarves and the hair. I always feel awkward, with my sweater I bought at the thrift store and my awkwardness. So I tend to hang around the corners, and eat stuff and listen in on their conversations. (similar to a creeper) Then I laugh with them, and then they notice me standing there and kinda angle toward me, and then after a while, I can say, “You know what I like? Cream cheese.” and there you go.
Friendship is hard. And then, there are certain people that I hit it off with, and we’re friends. The end. Maybe we never see each other, because of my fondness for my own couch, but we like each other, and it’s easy like that. Still, I see leaving the couch as inevitable if I do not want to be on Oprah via Skype, 700 pounds and ordering porcelain Chihuahuas in bulk from the internet.
(sigh)
Hey! I need to update my adoption of the week- I will put a new one up tomorrow- but in the meantime, I have set up my own little fundraising widget over yonder if Obama’s been good to you and you want to share the wealth.
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10 thoughts on “on fat and friendship

  1. Anonymous says:

    all of these musings are worthy of thought and a few brownies.I will love you even when you are on Oprah.Mamala(large thighs are where it's at.Ask me.)

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  2. Um, what mom's group? Was I not invited because I talk too much? 🙂 I like you Jessica Clark. I like you a lot. Also, you can borrow any of my scarves, anytime.

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  3. Anonymous says:

    Oprah and Skype, I shiver at the thought. Also if you and Jennifer James would entertain us with the whole story of the scarves that would be really cool, I mean how do they wear them, etc…As per the twitter remark, I call Mike, Mr. Vague, I think it has to do with having Mafia in his veins.-G

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  4. Liz says:

    Friendship is hard…I've sorta given up on the idea (as far as new people are concerned) BUT I'm different than you – I'm pretty much always loud (ha) and I while I get along with everyone I'm not open to them REALLY being in my life — You are very open and approachable. I'd say if someone doesn't like YOU it's them we should be concerned about! I think it's great you're out there at these lil gatherings attempting to network and meet people – my shrink would advise me to do the same! hahahahahahahaOh..and you have VERY cute hair! =0)~

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  5. Anonymous says:

    700 LBS & ORDERING CERAMIC DOGSGOTTA LOVE IT

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  6. Anonymous says:

    DONT GO ON OPRAHEVEN IF YOU GET TO 700 LBS

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  7. Anonymous says:

    funny steph and i have been talking about friendships… and thats usually the same conclusion we come too. They are hard… especially new ones.i'm with you on the fat winter…i'm praying for a miracle befor summertime! I have never had this much of my own insulation so man tx is gonna be hot for me this year!~Crystal D.~

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  8. Anonymous says:

    If you get to 700 lbs. you won't be able to go on Oprah….she will come to you. So will the construction workers, tow truck driver and paramedics with a gurney. All of the world will watch in suspense while they cut out the wall and put you on the back of a very heavy duty tow truck and drive you around the neighborhood so you can experience the sunshine and other things you have been missing. AND….they won't offer to take you to La Palma while you are the way to the obesity psychiatric hospital for treatment. Then when you have lost enough weight to walk, they will force you to go on a television show where you will be made to wear clothes whose waistbands hide under your folds of skin. People will act like your friend while they are replacing your non-fat, no-carb, flavorless meals with tacos and homeade salsa to sabotage your weight loss. You will shames before the entire world and end up eating your way into oblivion. Now….what do you think about working out an at home exercise regimen? Would save you some health hazards and heartache. I'm just sayin….

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  9. Kim Lockett says:

    It makes me laugh at how often you think what i think. I enjoy you!

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