I am sitting in my room, trying to forget the mountain of laundry in front of me. We probably have too many clothes, that’s part of it. But the washer, she are in the basement. Waaaay in the corner of the basement with the spiders, past the recording studio. It’s not just inconvenient, it’s terribly, terribly annoying. That concludes your Spoiled American Entitlement Segment for today. Tune in next week for more!
Last night I went to a home group- the one I went to a month or so ago. Yesterday, they asked for kinda an Intro to Jess, so I started with my abridged edition, which skips over children dying and almost dying and tragedy in general and just focuses on the good stuff, but they asked some questions and I ended up getting into the real story, somewhat.
Everybody was super-kind and interested, and really, it was refreshing to talk about it without conversation just grinding to a halt while people try to figure out what to say. I like to talk about my life, the pain and the triumph and the ongoing battle being a mom of a special-needs kid, all of it.
The weird thing is making a new group of friends with a heavy intro like that. Typically, when I meet new people, I talk too much, tell a lot of jokes- catch people off guard and am liked, and enjoyed because I make people feel good- make them laugh. Humor has led the way for me for a long, long time. I’ve learned not to use it so much as a defense mechanism, but it’s still great as an icebreaker.
Starting with the hard parts is different. On the way home, I’m asking myself if I have too much pain to be a safe friend for people- if that side of me makes them uncomfortable and maybe they don’t really need to know. The contrast is just funny- because I’m either the court jester or the undertaker… no real middle for me, at least at first.
Musings from the deeper side of me…