genetics and homestudying nature vs. nurture and wow

Yesterday, a licensed professional social worker came to our house to determine, among other things, the safety of our home and our fitness to parent. This is the kind of thing that causes me to break out in hives and have nightmares, after being reported to CPS once and the police once. (I was planning on linking to those stories for humor purposes, but I can’t find it in the archives…)

Anyways, she came and interviewed us and looked at the house, and amazingly, we passed the inspection. So we might have a baby in a month. GASP. Yeah, looks like it’s going to move pretty quick.

During the interview yesterday, she asked Toby which book was his favorite. He thought about it for a second, and then said, “Well, I like them all…” I had this flash of me saying that, a thousand times, of my dad sweeping his arm across a wall of books. It was such a sweet moment of connectedness, of heritage that it stopped me in my tracks for a second.

I was thinking today about the new baby, whoever he or she is, and how a lot of who they are will be genetic, and not my genetics. If they are musical, or athletic, or brilliant, we can’t claim that trait as “ours”. That will be an adjustment. It’s food for thought. How much of who we are is hereditary, and how much is learned or taught? Am I funny because my family is funny, or am I funny because my DNA has some kind of humor gene?

I know there are things that can be taught and passed down, that we will “look” like each other in the ways that count, and I look forward to celebrating whoever this baby is. Just percolating in the ol’ mental cavity here.


8 thoughts on “genetics and homestudying nature vs. nurture and wow

  1. Mama PC says:

    It blesses me to know that there is a couple (you two) who are going ahead and jumping in and adopting. I've wanted to for years, but there's never been a perfect YES about it and I have to listen to my husband on it…. John and I want to buy a ticket to the fundraiser, although not sure if we can make it.


  2. ♪essica says:

    Awesome, Pam! I hope y'all can make it!


  3. Anonymous says:



  4. Beth says:

    I am giddy on your behalf. One month!


  5. Anonymous says:

    I made a very witty comment that got lost and had to do with girl babies. I hope it didn't git kicked out by the magilla gorillamama


  6. -liz- says:

    How exciting! And on the nature vs nurture issue…I'm shocked daily at how much Joseph is like Jason. Don't get me wrong, he does a lot of things that are very "Kyle" but so much of who he is is wrapped up in what he KNOWS/SEES. Joseph brags he has two daddies who love him. LOL I think you guys will see so much YOU in your new baby it will brighten each day a little more. Give my congrats to Richy as well. -liz-


  7. ♪essica says:

    I did not see said witty comment, mama. So no censorship around here.


  8. Adoption changes everything, even DNA and genetics. I can't prove that scientifically, but I know I look a lot more like my father in heaven than my earthly one. You better believe He takes credit for all of my musical ability, genius, and… well, if I had any athletic ability, He'd take credit for that too. When you adopt, your child is yours, period. But I think you know that better than me, and will know experimentally much sooner than me, lucky duck.


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