Who’s cackling NOW?

Okay, look, I’m a right-wing neo-con fundamentalist Bible-thumper. So this next 300 words or so, griping about Halloween, should not come as a surprise to anyone, really.

We don’t really do Halloween, although we buy all the costumes we can find at the thrift, for year-round fun, and shoot, EVERY day is candy-day. We never deal with trick-or-treaters, because somehow, we’ve never been home at our house on Halloween night. An actual coincidence.

Here’s the thing. A few weeks ago, we took the wee ones to Lowe’s. As we wheeled the cart through the entry, a nearly 6 foot animatronic/motion sensitive witch turns to look at us, cackling. Say WHAT? Toby took a nosedive into the basket and whimpered throughout the whole store, halfway peering behind us to see what WAS that and is she following us. I have had to promise not to go back to Lowe’s until November.

Now, in order to get my Fundy card, I have to limit my child’s TV viewing to things that don’t directly involve, oh, witchcraft, demons, devils, stuff like that. I don’t freak when they run around with a sheet on their heads making ghost noises, because right now, it would cause more problems to explain that than to ignore it. So my guys are fairly sensitive when it comes to scary stuff, because that stuff is not for kids. Period.

Evidently, though, my kids are the only ones that don’t get a good laugh out of partially decayed human remains and witches with glowing red eyes that can talk? Oh, wait, that’s totally hilarious. Bodies hanging in trees in the front yard. What do you people WANT? Are you TRYING to desensitize them? Do we have a shortage of serial killers?

Will there come a day when I talk about good and evil, and what’s real and what’s not, and other religions and blah blah blah. Yes, absolutely. But not with a 4 year old. I want my 4 year old son to be a wuss. I want him to LIKE shows with puppy dogs that dance. I want him to cry when he falls down. I want him to hide his eyes when something scary comes on a screen. I want him to be a little kid. Because he’ll be a little jaded soon enough.

In the meantime, I’m not taking him shopping anywhere. And that’s your loss, Walmart and Lowes. Because when he’s with me, I spend twice as much.

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12 thoughts on “Who’s cackling NOW?

  1. Anonymous says:

    Yay for you! When my kids were little I got chided/lectured to all the time about them being "too protected". I ignored it all! Now, my kids are in their mid-20's, serving God, and not serial killers. They also don't have fear issues, or think it was wrong for us to "over-protect" them. I call that a win!Dorean

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  2. Karon says:

    You go, girl! I went with my son on a field trip for four-year-olds to a pumpkin farm today — innocuous and safe fun, right? WRONG! We had to take a hayride through the gauntlet of beheaded, bloody creatures of all kinds, skeletons driving motorcycles, etc., etc. I HATE going to Michael's when they have those animated minions of doom. Seriously, what is wrong with these people?

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  3. Deanna says:

    Totally agree, Jess! Most people think I'm pretty radical in my Halloween beliefs (no, I won't go to your "harvest party" in costume that just happens to be on October 31st every single year. That's called a Halloween party. At least don't be a hypocrite and call it what it actually is!). I hate all the Halloween decorations everywhere this time of year!

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  4. Anonymous says:

    Karon- Are you from Kansas City? Were y'all at Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead? I hope not cause we go tomorrow. I am with you 100% Jessica. -Amanda Traylor

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  5. Josh says:

    I agree. Keith loves hay, pumpkins, and friendly looking scarecrows. The rest can easily cause head thrown back whaling. Shannon gave the explanation to him a couple weeks ago that "witches aren't good because they don't serve God." He took that easy explanation.

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  6. Karon says:

    Nope, I'm in Baltimore,and it was Huber's Farm. I hope yours turns out much better, Amanda! 🙂

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  7. i was just asking this question this year! do people really look at big blow up witches and scary bones and think "oh, that's so cute, i want that in my yard" ??? i don't get it! celebrating FEAR? are we kidding???

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  8. just jo says:

    i hate how much halloween is presented to all of our children when we go out in public… i remember taking anthony to the mall where a man & woman dressed as satan & his "wife" tried to scare him… i am sure that after i was done he didn't try to do that again… he thought i was gonna kill him… ofcourse this was many years ago… i would behave better now… LOL

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  9. misskerri says:

    I'm not even a parent yet & I'm in whole hearted agreement. I can remember when my mom deemed Oct 31 as a day off of school so that we didn't partake in whatever was happening & then the next day we got to buy 1/2 price candy @ the stores… win/win to us.Wizard of Oz wasn't even played @ our house until we were old enough to understand (8+ i think) because we were aware enough to fear those types of images.@Josh- usually the simplest explanations are the best

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  10. CrystalD says:

    Isaac cant go into walgreens or Michaels during this time of year. So frustrating to go into a simple craft store which should be kid friendly and have to leave with him TREMBLING in fear. =(Merci is old enough to get the whole the enemy is a liar and wants to trick you into loving evil etc etc but Isaac is too little. although a few days ago after i told him we don't celebrate halloween he said I WANT TO DO HALLOWEEN. so I replied, "oh you do? ok well then we need to go back to that store with all the skeletons, and monsters and get all that stuff cause that is what halloween is about." he quickly said, NEVER MIND I DON"T WANT HALLOWEEN! (I"M SO GLAD THAT ONE DIDN"T BACKFIRE ON ME!)

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