the LOUDEST wins

I’m a bit of a yeller. And I’m not speaking colloquially, here. (how bout that word? dang.) I’m not saying I’m a coward or something, but rather that I tend to raise my voice frequently. I come from a long line of brief verbal outbursts, both angry and joyous, followed by periods of relative calm.

It seems effective, yelling. Everyone stops choking their sibling or riding mattresses down the stairs or feeding crackers to the baby and listens. The only problem is that I feel like I just fought a 3 year old and won. Not that they’re disturbed by it. In fact, the basic raised voice has become the gateway drug to my kids, and now they require the shrill lady-prophet tone, or, on special occasions, the gym coach bellow. But is it effective, really? Or am I just the loudest for now?

Photobucket

Lately I’ve been watching the Duggars, you know, the conservative Baptist reality-TV family with 19 kids. You can feel however you want about them being patriarchal or misogynistic or slavedrivers or whatever, but I love them and this is my blog, so there. There are a lot of amazing things about this family, but the one that is rocking my socks is the lack of yelling. Holy moloney. She has like 10 kids under 10 and she talks in a sweet little baby voice all the time, and it works.

So I’ve been trying it, you know, bending down to be eye level and touching their face and speaking very gently. I think they’re confused, or maybe scared. It seems to work all right, as long as I’m willing to stand up and walk to the scene of the crime. There’s the challenge, though. It is much easier to yell futilely from another room or another floor and hope for the best, or at least a diversion.

I’m in the window here, I think, of forming our patterns for life. They’re still little enough, I tell myself, that I can probably fix this. OR, I will decide to pick a different battle. Time will tell.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “the LOUDEST wins

  1. Anonymous says:

    Lately I've NOT been watching the Duggars, you know, the conservative Baptist reality-TV family with 19 kids. You can feel however you want about them being patriarchal or misogynistic or slavedrivers or whatever, but I am indifferent about them and this is my reply to your blog, so there. There are some interesting things about this family and the one that doesn't rock my socks is the lack of yelling. Holy moly. Is this mother for real or what?I hope I have amused you. 🙂

    Like

  2. ♪essica says:

    your copy/paste skills are impressive, Snarky Anon 😉

    Like

  3. Hannah says:

    I love this post! As a "yeller" myself, I am always guilted by those soft-voiced moms. So yes, this post made my day! 😀

    Like

  4. Yvonne says:

    I bet her soft mommy voice only works when the t.v. cameras are rolling.

    Like

  5. Brittan says:

    looooooooove the Duggars!

    Like

  6. Anonymous says:

    Absolutely LOVE the Duggars! I have always pondered the same questions about how she does that soft voice thing. But remember that she also has all of her children partnered up. A little one and an older one. So that has to help some. The older one can be there to help solve some issues when she can't make it or when she doesn't want to go. So, all that to say….you only need 15 more.Julie Davis:P

    Like

  7. Anonymous says:

    As a mom speaking from experience with kids who have grown or almost grown, lose the yelling. It can cause damage to the relationship you have with your children, and even to your children.. I say this in love and I believe God can help you with whatever battle you choose to fight. This one is definitely worth it for you and for your kids!

    Like

  8. Paige says:

    I'm a yeller too. Hard to lose really. I'm inspired though, by your thoughts on why the soft baby voice works. We will see. I'm going to try it, for a week. That should frighten mine right into obedience. :)Paigewww.clauseninthehausen.blogspot.com

    Like

Leave a Reply (name and email are optional)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: