I’m starting to get that feeling. It’s kind of like a soul itch, to try to put it in words. It’s this feeling, this sense that things are about to change, and it used to scare me pretty bad, because I’m not such the fan of change. You scoff at that, because I change my hair color every 6 minutes, but that’s different. I used to not like major change. In fact, I think I still don’t. But I’ve jumped enough times now that I know what it feels like to be led by God, and caught by God.
enlarging our borders: workout for the heart
There’s kind of an exercise I like to put myself through, though… just thinking about what I could do, would do. I think about taking in foster kids, sibling groups. I think about adopting special needs kids. I think about adopting a little girl from an orphanage in China. I think about writing a book, about renovating a house, about blowing the lid off of the widespread abortion of special needs children, I think about doing more, being more.
And I find, somehow, after thinking about how I could, I feel like I can. Not everything, not necessarily. But I feel expanded, like, my brain has to listen to my heart for a change, and there is room for more, more life, more people, more giving. It’s an Isaiah 54 exercise for the soul, enlarging borders, expanding tents, and so on.
The next few months, we’ll be sharing a house with our teenage niece, who is awesome and smart and funny and right on the verge of a bright future. I’m so excited, because I know God put her here, and I know it’s going to be a rich time for all of us.
And then after that? During that? I don’t know. I just want my heart and my arms to be open. I won’t do it perfectly, ever, so I might as well do it now.