I met Richy at the door yesterday. “Let’s go get some burgers,” I said. What I meant was, let’s lock all of the children down with seat belts and I will sit in the front row and listen to music while they ask AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE HOW DOES GOD GET THE BABY OUT OF THE MOM, but I won’t answer, because I will be in the front, listening to music.
President Brynn wants fries with that
We went to McDonald’s, because our entire family can eat for $10 there, unless somebody gets crazy. While I was tossing chicken bites to and fro, Toby noticed the election results coming in. Look, I didn’t make him freakishly smart. I mean, genetics plays a part, and I do answer a lot of his questions. (God helps the doctors get the baby out. Hey, is that a SQUIRREL?) But mostly, he is a genius without any help, so I feel liberty to brag without shame. So anyway, he is loudly cheering every state that our guy won, and expressing some real concern about how many states the other guy was carrying, and the senior citizens were staring, because a) he is SO LOUD and b) he’s an unrepentant social conservative.
And then Brynn says, “Some day, I will be President. All of you will cheer for ME, and the people will vote for me.”
And I was like, YES. I mean, I totally dig being a housewife, and my kids are the best. But if my baby wants to be Prez, that sounds great to me. I got a little excited.
“Of course you can,” I told her. “I would definitely vote for you. And you know what you’d have? A big bus with your face on it, and it would say BRYNN CLARK FOR PRESIDENT, and you’d drive all around the country and meet people, and tell them to vote for you. And you’d be the boss of America, and you could help our country.”
Brynn was confident. “Everyone would vote for me.”
“What would you do,” I asked, “once you were President?”
Toby jumped in. “I’d make all apps ad-free,” he said, which is solid logic, for the gamer.
“Well,” says Brynn. ” I would work at McDonald’s.”
I tried to bring it back. “First, right? When you are a teenager, you’d work at McDonald’s, and then you’d be President.”
“No,” she says. “I changed my mind. I want to work here.”
And that was it. A promising political career cut tragically short. Ah well. At least we’ll get an employee discount.